I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
