I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
