You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
