Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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