Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
