and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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