Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
