My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she smelled like a LAN party
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
