He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
