I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
