we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
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He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
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We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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