This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
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...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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