Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
