this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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