Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control

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(909): View more from California

I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.

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(269): View more from Michigan

i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.

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(314): View more from Missouri

At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?

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(614): View more from Ohio

i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised

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(585): View more from New York

I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.

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