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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work

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• (707): View more from California

  At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN

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• (951): View more from California

  Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ABSOLUTELY NOT

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