Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.

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(705): View more from Ontario

my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia

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(302): View more from Delaware

It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex

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(613): View more from Ontario

i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay

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(61): View more from Australia

I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her

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