butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
