please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
