I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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