Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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