so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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