We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
