I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
