I bet he comes in French.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
