so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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