He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
