You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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