I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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