it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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