nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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