In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
