I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize