I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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