when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
