used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
