I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize