Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize