i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
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I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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