he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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