He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize