Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
