I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
