Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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