Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
