she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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