Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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