You work out of a Hotel?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
