He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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