She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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