her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
