He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
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DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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