I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i love accidental penises.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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