I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
