Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
vagina is talking i cant
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
