I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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