I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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