After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she pinky promised me she was 18
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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