Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
