Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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