Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Your tits are I can't wait for
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Come see our sink grown plant.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
